How to Deal with a Toxic Mom/Kid on Moms Day

It’s Mother’s Day here in the States!

Happy Mom’s Day for you if you/yours celebrate it….

BUT if you have a toxic mom (or heck, if your kids became tweebleheads), it’s ok NOT to feel happy joy joy.

When I was growing up, one never missed Mothers Day.

Nor Mom’s birdieDay (which is why Honorable Son 1 was born one day before my birthday – I figured that by the time I was in my 80s, I’d want my own darned day to myself. So even though he was due on my birthday… he arrived one day sooner. But I digress).

Mom never really liked flowers on Mothers Day (but weird plants were appreciated. I remember one day my brother gave her a bulb-like unidentifiable “thing” – 40 years later its still growing in my home). Creative gifts were always liked.

Now that I’m a mom, I realize that what *I* want… is peace, harmony and laughter in my home.

Aaaaand because the spouse and I are now an empty nest, all 3 will be present (as I took back both my power AND my MamaBearness and don’t require any Mom-celebration to feel good today).

That being said…

There are some folk out there who have toxic moms.

Some folk who have been raised to always doubt themselves…

… and to those people I say:

It’s not you.

It’s never *been* you.

Being a mom, alas, never automatically gifts women with wisdom and sanity….

… some women simply never were cut out to be moms.

But they still have kids….

… and those kids suffer from the lack of compassion and empathy a toxic parent emits.

So if you simply cannot wish your Mom a Happy Mother’s Day because of the toxicity…

That’s *okay.*

We all do the very best we can but yep… sometimes the collateral damage feels just too great.

And if you need help in dealing with Toxic Moms, consider:

www.mother.ly/life/toxic-family-mothers-day/

www.today.com/parents/how-handle-mother-s-day-when-estranged-your-own-mom-t111158

hellogiggles.com/love-sex/mothers-day-toxic-mom/

mouthsofmums.com.au/surviving-mothers-day-with-a-narcissistic-mother/

medium.com/grace-and-magic/3-simple-yet-effective-self-care-actions-for-mothers-day-when-your-mother-is-toxic-95cf376682b0

And if you’re a mom and you have a strained relationship with your kids, consider these ideas, just remember:

It takes until kids pass the age of 25 or so for their frontal lobes to completely develop. If they’ve chosen to embrace an ideology that leaves you out of the picture, that’s okay… because that’s *their* choice.

The kids you raised and loved no longer exist – they’ve been replaced by the adults they’ve become. And once an adult, you can ask yourself:

“Do I *really* want to have a relationship with someone who could treat their mother that way?”

Viewed that way… the pain has a tendency to dissipate.

Your takeaway?

Sane mom/kids or not, might you have… we are all worthy of appreciation and love.

Do your best to pass on that love and appreciation wherever you can…

Happy Moms Day (and in some cases, Self-Appreciate-Day) to all!

Enjoy.

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